Monday, May 30, 2011

We Should Shave Lightening Bolts On Her Sides

LIFE LESSON #345: Never, I repeat, NEVER let your boyfriend/fiance/hubby give your dog a "trim".  I knew this was a bad idea from the get-go, but I felt really bad for Bella as she was panting while sitting on the couch.   OK, you should probably also know that our A/C went out for like a week - but it was the cool week we had and with the windows open, it turned out not to be that bad...ugh it was gross for a few days though.  Anywho, back to Bella.  As you can see from the picture (if you haven't already had the pleasure of making her aquaintance) she is a long-haired chi and the last time I took Bella to get her summer haircut she came back looking like a Bert instead of a Bella.  She looked like a boy and I was not pleased - I couldn't even put bows in her hair to help make her look more girly because it was so short and she looked like a dude in a dress - it just wasn't right on all levels.  But I had to do something and quick.  It was so bad she would mosey on outside to potty and come back in panting and plop down on the cool tile floor in the kitchen just looking up at me like please mommy I dont mind the dude cut, I'm so hotttt.  So, as you can see, when Jason suggested a quick trim it actually sounded like a good solution...at the time.

Let me repeat - never let your man get near your dog with any sort of shearing, cutting, trimming tool of any kind.  So, Jason charges up his beard trimmer - oh yeah - and prepares to give his daughter what he thinks is the best gift ever.  Mind you, I was not around while he was doing this - lucky for him, not for Bella.  I leave for the grocery store and Jason takes Bella outside and trims her real good (his words not mine).  I come home, not knowing the horrible sight I would walk in on, and put the groceries up and look down at my poor dog.  It was a sad, sad sight.  Not only did she look like a boy again (!$#*$Y@*) but she had patches - oh yes - patches of hair missing, her ears were hairless and her butt was bare. Like one of those baboons you see with the blue bare butts (gross).  Yes, she looked like a homeless little pathetic boy puppy that got in a fight with a pair of shears and lost.  You could tell she was so mad and hated it so much.  I don't think she even looked at him for days.  She already has sensitive skin and the close-cut "skin trim" did not help.  Now she was still hot, and ugly and itchy on top of it!!  Jason tried to convince me that she was so much happier and cooler with the new sporty summer 'do, but I just picked her up and promised her that I would never let Daddy do that to her again.  I would upload a picture, but Boofy would never forgive me.

It's growing back now (in patches) and she is starting to look like normal again - thank goodness she was blessed with fast-growing hair genes!  And a killer coat.  From now on, she will be the proud owner of a professionally groomed "trim" each month in the summer time. Plus, she'll smell fabulous and get a free neckerchief to sport!! She loves accessories.

It's all my fault - I should have known better when Jason said to me when he first met Bella, "we should shave lightening bolts on her sides to make her look faster".

Another lesson learned!

Sara Bernice
xoxo

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

"That Dog Will Hunt" & Other Old Neglected Sayings...

Does anyone else almost wreck in their car because you're writing down notes on a receipt or making a list on a crumpled Wendy's napkin?  I have been so busy lately that jotting down a wedding song or to-do list at a stop light is about the only time I have to get my thoughts together and get it out of my head.  I have also been known to wake up in the middle of the night, find a tablet and go to town.  Sleep is much better and peaceful that way.  My random reminders on my phone go off frequently too; do I really need an alarm to go off on my phone in the middle of the day to remind me to go to the bank, run by A.C. Moore, pick up dry cleaning, get the pups' dog food, go to the bathroom, eat lunch, ....the answer is yes, unfortunately.  I have actually made myself a reminder before to remind Jason to take out the trash - it goes off every Thursday :).  I must be crazy.....OR really really incredibly genius :)

Some say it's because I'm getting older or I've got too much going on or I'm just off my rocker?  But my theory is that it is NAWT that I'm getting older...I don't care what my brother Jacob says.  I do know that I was born to be an older sister and know I will be a rockin' Mom.  I was just talking to my younger brother (only by 3 years) the other day and I said to him, "Well, that's a fine how do ya do!" WHAT? I don't even know what that means, but it just came out and it worked, I think, in the context.  I have caught myself saying things like that all the time.  "Why I oughtaaa" (while waving your fists around with your chin up in the air and your feet scuffling around like a 1902 silent film actor) is another favorite. I like referring to things as the "bee's knees" or the "cat's whiskers"  too.  You can take those, they're fun to say.

The best way to discover which road you're headed towards at the "grandma/grandpa" or "still hip" crossroads is to watch MTV (like for more than 5 minutes) or to hang out with a 15 year old and try not to panic.  Yes, it's embarrasing.  You try to use all your cool slang terms like "hip" (which I said earlier - Sara fail) or "bogus"  or "drats"or referencing Saved by the Bell, Full House or Family Matters for any reason.  Even "boo-yow" is a no-no.  I know it's hard and it hurts...deeply. But I offer some sound advice, stay with me, get a notepad, or a napkin. Whenever you're caught in a conversation with a tweener and you can't get away (unless it's your child, of course - that may even still apply here) Just laugh, nod and walk away, quickly. That advice works with a lot of situations, like when a co-worker approaches you, your Mom, a sales person that won't quit, a frenemy, an enemy, a friend, a bum, etc. You get the idea.

Here are some more old southern sayings that I love:

-He has enough money to burn a wet mule.

-That is to much pumpkin for a nickel.

-If ifs' and buts' were candy and nuts, everyday would be Christmas

-Root hog or die

-That dog will hunt

-He ain't got a pot to pee in

And my personal favorite:

-If I put his brain in a nat's butt, it would fly backwards

Good night y'all!!!
Sara Bernice

Monday, May 23, 2011

Baby Pool Party and other fun weekend escapades!

And anotha' one!

Ahhh yesss another jam-packed weekend full of fun parties and exciting wedding stuff! We'll start with Thursday though.  I just have to mention the Myrtle Beach SkyWheel VIP opening that Jason and I attended Thursday night.  It was so great to see such a fun, family-friendly place packed with so many people that want great things for the Grand Strand! I hope everyone will go check it out and ride the wheel and partake in the new Jimmy Buffet restaurant, LandShark Bar & Grille, located right next to/underneath it.  It's right smack on the ocean and even if you're too cowardly to take a ride at least sit on their patio, grab a tropical cocktail (the strawberry margarita is yummy!) and enjoy the ocean view!!

On Saturday, I enjoyed a nice day on the beach with my cuz, Taylor Ann and my Aunt Sabrina - much needed!  Then the party marathon began!  Our sweet niece, Lillian, turned 1 - and her party was Saturdee afternoon.  It was a baby pool party. Yes, a babyyyyy pooooool parttyyyyy. There were babies galore and let me tell you - Jason and I were a little overwhelmed!  They were everywhere.  There was a bouncy blow-up machine thingy with little ones jumping around screaming and for a moment I felt like Reese Witherspoon in "Four Christmases" and started chuckling to myself, just picturing myself in there with the kids and me freaking out!! 



Well, needless to say, we survived the kiddie circus and quickly scurried home for a 20 minute cat-nap before heading to Chris and Ferris' engagement party!!  Such a fun night!! I have to say the highlight of my evening was watching Landon and Jake run around, their 1 and 3 yr. old nephews....wait, what??...maybe the baby party rubbed off on me a little.....did I mention we made it a late night at Revo's following the party??!! Wow, my dancing skills are still delightful - I've still got it! Oh yeah.

On Sunday, I went over to my sweet Mom's house to help her finish up the invitations, I had no idea they would be so in depth and take so long to get out! My caligraphist (Ma) worked so hard on them and we finished up the final touches, with a gorgeous seal - I only burned my finger twice with the wax! I am so pleased with them and can't wait for folks to get them!  Sandra is for hire, FYI, and you will see that her handwriting is GORGE!  Message me for her number ;)

Happy Work Week friends!!

Love,
Sara Bernice

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Omg. Shoes.

I just want to say thank you Lord for the many blessings in my life.  I have so much to be thankful for: my loving family, my fabulous friends, my wonderful HTB (hubby-to-be), my three furry babies ---- and my Badgley Mischka wedding shoes :)

OH snap!!!!!

I am beyond in love with these shoes. They make me feel delicate and dainty and fabulous and I can't WAIT to sleep in them (side note: I used to sleep in my new shoes when I was younger - my passion for glamorous new shoes started at a young age) and shimmy down the aisle in them. I'm just saying, these shoes will not want to come off my feet! Ah LOVE! I will need a special place in my Sex and the City closet that Big...er..Jason is going to build me some day!

On another note, my bachelorette partay is in two weeks!!!! I can't wait to spend some QT with my girls for a whole weekend - I don't even think we have all spent a weekend together in years!!! It is going to be epic to say the least!  I need to start looking for more cute dresses immediately, if not sooner!  I mean, am I the only girl that knows that there's a dress to go with each and every occassion/event?!  I can't wear my Sunday dress to a bachelorette party or my straight-to-business wrap dress to a baby shower - GASP!

Ugh! I just have to say that I miss Bethenny Ever After.  She made me feel sane and cracked me up.  Good thing I have her on DVR for life :)  I also have her book to lull me to sleep, A Place of YES - 10 Rules for Getting Everything You Want Out of Life - it is excellent and that is saying a lot because I don't hold interest in books for very long, if they're lame-oh.



I am also reading Go Put Your Strengths to Work by Marcus Buckingham.  It is equally as interesting and reveals ways to achieve outstanding personal performance by identifying and taking advantage of you strongest attributes.  I highly recommend it (thanks Eileen Soisson of The Meeting Institute!).  It even has a quiz inside that you can take online to test your strengths. Fun! I love quizzes.

Speaking of strengths, my weakness right now seems to be sleeping.  I think I'll tackle that one now....G'night!!

Love & Shoes,
Sara Bernice :)

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Spring (more like Dive Head First) into Spring!

Is it mid-May alreadyyyy???? Sheesh!  So...I sort of got side-tracked and distracted from this blogging thing - I'll do better I promise! A lot has happened in the past almost two months and I am t-i-r-e-d.  More wedding planning, baby showers, birthdays, kickball tournaments, bootcamps, dragon boat races, and bridal showers than I can almost handle and many many more fun events to come!  As excited as I am for what the next three months will bring, I can't help but feel more and more anxious and stressed (a good stress) as we goet closer to August!  Being a control freak and extreme worrier does not help the planning process either! Actually it doesn't help anything. Ever.


In April, my amazing BM's threw me the most beautiful Bridal Shower - it was Breakfast at Tiffany's themed - which I LOVE!!! Audrey Hepburn is one of my idols along with Cinderella, Bethenny Frankel, and Lil' Bit (what?... she's been through a lot!).  My girlfiriends put so much thought and effort into the day and I am so lucky to have such great friends and family who care enough to make such a special time in my life even more special!!!!  From the tiffany boxes, to the flowers and decor, to the food and cupcakes, the story they wrote and the gorgeous Tiffany vase they all got me - I can't believe how wonderful it turned out! :) Thanks again girlz <3


This past Friday, I graduated from Leadership Grand Strand!!! Woo hoo!  LGS is a nine-month leadership and philanthropy program; the MB Chamber selects folks from all different ages and professional backgrounds to come together and learn more about the Grand Strand and local community service, and promotes and encourages future leaders in the area.  I had the absolute honor to be in Class 31 (Thirty-FUN) with some of the most respectable and kind-hearted people I have ever met.  It was truly an honor to stand with them on graduation night. They mean the world to me!


And who didn't watch the Royal Wedding - I took notes.  I mean it's not every day you get married the same year as royalty.  It is kind of funny because my Mom always thought it was so cool that I was born the same year as Prince William (and I think she secretly thought I would be Kate -- dream big Mom!) and now we are getting married the same year! I am sure if PW knew me or Jason, he would be honored as well.  Maybe they'll push back their Honeymoon a few months and we'll meet up with them in Hawaii.....it could happen.


So much more to write and so much more going on, but I have to vaccuum and then change clothes to go fishing with my fiance.  Yep.  Fishing rocks and you should try it.  J is completely obsessed with fishing lately.  He has recently purchased a basket and other gear/attachments for his bike - not for the dogs, not for a sweet romantic bottle of wine or picnic basket, but rather, for...his tackle box and fishing crap.  He just ran to Bass Pro to get more bait and other stuff I can't pronounce and don't care about :) Oh, I love him and I enjoy fishing too so it works just like everything else about us. Yay for soulmates.


Til next time my friends.
Good afternoon, good evening and good night.